On a ground level, sex should be a fun and healthy activity that everyone can enjoy responsibly. However, the actual act of intercourse isn't always as easy or attractive as the movies would make out.
All those flailing limbs, communication issues, and bodily functions can sometimes make the moment a lot less sexy than it should be. In the worst case scenarios, it can almost become as embarrassing as something seen in the American Pie movies, that wouldn't dare share with anyone. I tried to dismount from his face and fell off the bed into my side table.
While my parents were asleep. I ended up with a giant bruise on one of my knees. Thankfully neither of my parents decided to investigate the loud crashing. The dangers of small beds next to windows fully explained here by Dillythekiid. While having sex my freshman year of college on those terribly small beds I tossed her onto my bed and she hit her head on the window sill. Which ended up cutting the back of her head open, which of course caused her head to start bleeding profusely all over my bed and then had to take her to the campus hospital to get stitches.
It wasn't that embarrassing, but one time my ex and I were trying to have sex just after we watched a bunch of episodes of To Catch a Predator. We both couldn't get it out of our heads, and midway through foreplay he said 'why don't you take a seat' and we both died laughing. We still went through with it, but it was interrupted by intermittent bouts of laughter between the both of us. We had to gather our composure a few times before it was done.
Telling jokes during sex isn't always the best idea as ConneryFTW found out. This isn't so bad, but I was going down on my girlfriend at the time. Though of something funny, and I stopped momentarily to tell her the joke. She started laughing, and while laughing farted. I made a face, which only caused her to laugh more and continue farting. Posted Friday 23 March by Greg Evans in news. Slid across the satin sheets and knocked myself out on the headboard.
She ended up telling her parents she was jumping on her bed and hit her head on the ceiling. More About. Log in using your social network account. Submit Forgotten your password?But it gets worse Finally on Monday morning, I realized who I had actually been texting.
I walked into the classroom, my face burning with embarrassment, and my teacher told me she wasn't mad at me, and that she 'loved me too, babe. After years of being teased I decided to stuff tissues into my bra hoping that I'd get some relief from the teasing A tissue fell out of my shirt in front of a popular girl who saw it, grabbed it off the ground, and ran around the cafeteria yelling that I stuffed my bra. High school sucked. The class was quiet, everyone was staring at me, wondering why I made a sexual-sounding noise like that.
I coughed to try and cover it up, but to no avail. I decided to wear a thong to school for the first time to avoid the lines showing through. In drama class I got up and my friends let me know that I had a "pants wedgie. They let me know later in the day when it happened a second time. I never wore those pants again.
We were all seated in the auditorium hanging out waiting to take our seats on the center stage. When the time finally came, I stood up and that familiar feeling came over me. I fucking started my period. There was literally nothing I could do. We were headed out to take our seats, listen to the speeches, and wait for our names to be called I literally had to sit there, while blood was running out of me and hoping no one would see.
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The worst part is that when I got up to get my diploma, there was a little bloody spot on my chair. Luckily I was wearing a big black robe so it was easy to hide the spot on my gown I just couldn't take it off for pictures. Towards the end of the night, I found myself making out with a tree. In front of my entire class.
Not a great experience. On the day of homecoming, I'm feeling kind of sick but since homecoming was a huge deal for our school, I just chugged some juice and figured I would be fine.Skip navigation! Reading these stories from Reddit might just make you feel better about yourself. At least you've never been fired for throwing frozen doughnuts at people, right? Or maybe you have.
When one Reddit user asked, "Managers of Reddit, what is the stupidest thing an employee did that forced you to fire them?
Check out all of the stories ahead, and try not to cringe. Gift-Card Thief "Every year during the holiday season, I'd warn the new hires, 'Listen, no matter how tempting it is, don't steal a customer's gift card. We can track it, I will track it and if I catch you, you will get fired.
Every year people try it; every year people get fired. Don't do it. It only took a couple of weeks before we started getting calls for tech support for products with serial numbers we did not have registered as 'sold' in the system. Brief investigation leads straight to her. Since he lived across the street from the store where we worked, we all then stood and watched through the store's glass door as he packed up his truck with beach gear and drove off with his girlfriend.
Fired the next day. Day or night. Until one day, he came back from lunch at Taco Bell in our parking lot, and my other assistant saw his lunch and thought to herself, That looks good! And walked across the street on her break and ordered the same thing. Her total? She immediately came back and told me; I pulled all the drawers and sure enough one was short that exact amount!
When he was sat down by our DM to be terminated, all they told him was, 'We know what you've been stealing!
You finally figured out I was stealing all those Skechers Shape-Ups?! He called in on Saturday telling me he was deathly sick and couldn't even get out of bed. I turn the corner and there is the 'sick' busser stoned out of his mind with two buddies eating. She literally had a tantrum, like a toddler.
Also, the girl who ate it, ate it by mistake. She thought it was a bagel from the office breakfast we had earlier that same morning it was in the same packaging as the office stuff. Now, I absolutely hate it when people eat my lunch, but the girl who ate the bagel profusely apologized.Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Who said going to school was boring? Read the funny stories that happened to these girls! The Pits. He wouldn't stop staring at me — or my chest!
I thought it was probably because he liked me, so I texted him, 'So do you like what you see? Dropping the Ball. My costume was totally cute, but I have a really small bust, so I had to stuff the top with cotton balls so it would fit. Before the show was starting, I noticed my crush and a lot of his super-hot friends sitting in the front row. Right before I went onstage, I decided to extra-stuff my costume to make my bust larger. But later, when it was time for me to do my main dance number, I did a cartwheel across the stage, and all the cotton balls started tumbling out!
Everyone was laughing so hard, including my crush! I was so embarrassed, I ran off the stage.
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Overcoming Hurdles. I always make sure to look cute for practice in case he sees me. When he came outside one afternoon, I was working on my hurdle-jumping, so I decided to go for the highest hurdle we have. I jumped over the first one, but when I went for the second, my foot got caught! I fell flat on my face — and broke my nose! Besides my crush seeing me totally bite it, I had to take senior yearbook pictures the next day with bandages and a swollen face.
Not cute!Every parent knows that moment: when your kid says something so outrageous, so absurb, so naughty that you have to turn around so they don't see you laughing. Now, imagine if you were a teacher? Trying to control your laughter every year as kids said and did the silliest, most outrageous things? On an anonymous Reddit threadteachers have been sharing stories. We've collected our favorites just for you. We dare you not to laugh. Last year, [on] my classroom carpet that had the alphabet border around the edges.
One of my students, Demetrius, liked to sit on the letter D because it was the first letter of his name. One day, Zaria sits on the letter D. Demetrius gets in her face and yells, 'Zaria! Get off my D! When reading "Hamlet" with the class, after Ophelia's line about Hamlet, "To speak of horrors -- he comes before me," a kid said, "Hamlet, get it together, man.
The other kids didn't get it luckily. A student walking down the hallway had his Darth Vader mask confiscated by the principal. The kid replied the right way. I work in preschool. We think he had just then figured out how to pee standing up Oh, she's in the shower He's in the shower too? M" — nerdsarepeople. Tanya Edwards is a contributing writer for iVillage. Follow today. Don't miss a beat, like us on Facebook. The Mouths of Babes Last year, [on] my classroom carpet that had the alphabet border around the edges.Ah, high school and middle school.
For some, they are the best years of their lives; the glory days where their whole life is ahead of them and everything's just peachy keen. Well, thankfully for all those voyeurs out there, the general hivemind of Reddit got together and shared all of the most embarrassing moments from that time in their lives. I did the dirty work and picked some of the most facepalm moments they had to give. And, if anyone reading this is, I promise it gets better, just can take solace in the fact that no one's alone when it comes to awkwardness.
Redditor TheRaven42 had an unfortunate brush with pantslessness if that's not a word, it is now :. One of my friend's had been nagging all day that we had to go to the canoes if we had some time left.
And we had, and we did. The other friends got in a canoe together, and the friend who had been nagging and I got in another canoe. It took about one minute for us to fall into the water.
As we were standing there, completely soaked, our teacher comes and tells us it's time to go to the bus. Only problem: the bus driver says he doesn't want us in the bus with our wet clothes. When we got back to school, it only got worse, because we had to wait for our parents to come get us. And my friend got picked up first. Sort of. I stood all of 5'2" tall and weighed in at a hefty 98 lbs. I am male, I feel that I need to point that out. Anywho, Valentine's Day rolls around, so I bought her a box of chocolates.
I make my way through the crowd until I find her at her locker, finally resolved to give them to her and wish her a happy Valentine's Day. I walk up to her and discover that I've developed a stutter in the last minute and a half. I'm terrified, but I manage. She gives me an equally awkward thanks and a coy smile. I rub my neck.
Just then, someone running down the hall collides with me — hard. My arm, currently cocked back to shyly rub my neck, launches forward. I punch her directly in the eye and send her sprawling into her own locker. Awkwardness immediately takes over. I bail like I'd just walked into a murder scene in my own house. She has never spoken to me since. In grade 10 I had a pretty cool teacher.
He was young late 20swas coach of the soccer and football teams, and generally an easy going guy. He was pretty much a jock. He even worked out and took care of his appearance. We decided to buy him anal beads as a Christmas gag gift. He opened it in front of the football team after a Friday practice. Everyone had a good laugh about it and he eventually said 'Please. I was 16 so it was the cool thing to do. I get to the front of line, female bouncer begins searching me.
I totally forgot about the anal beads in my jacket.
She gave them back to me and said 'have fun with these' and let me in the club.He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done. We never had a second date. The fake report card : I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. I did this every quarter that year.
I forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. How to win at video games : When I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon. I would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. Cut to an hour or so later when a teacher bursts in and nearly dies of relief because the school was on fire and we were the only students not accounted for and half the faculty and fire department had been searching for us for ages.
I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard : My whole class once got detention because I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard and when the teacher went to wipe off the board all the fluff came off and stuck to the glue. I never got in trouble for it because my whole class found it too funny to tell the teacher it was me.
I could hear it over my music but ignored it. My teacher thought it was me. He suddenly realized it was the guy next to me and he was completely embarrassed. He came in the next day with a new pair and an apology note taped to them. This resulted in a lot of wrestlers skipping class and barging into our classroom to hang out and not get in trouble.
One day, seven wrestlers come in yelling about new wrestling uniforms, and how excited they were. When they go over and pull out the uniforms, the whole class is kind of side eyeing them. Even without what I mention next, the suits look funny.
Absolutely funny already. But the wrestlers grab the uniforms and rush out of the room to go change in the bathroom, and come back to show them off. Anyway, we live in a town called Ocean City. On the back of the Spandex uniform, it says Ocean City Men in large letters. Except… they used the abbreviation. OC MEN. I almost spit out the water I was drinking. I turn to the girl next to me, and I had no idea who she was and had never talked to her before.
I told her what I found and we both cracked up.People Share Their Greatest High School Moments (r/AskReddit)
Ow, my shit! Later that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really hard. I was a crying, bawling mess of a child, to the point I was doing that weird cry, stutter, hiccup noise. One day, when he was six, I was at his house when he got this absolutely god-awful stomach pain.
I mean, he was literally writhing in pain. She feared something along the lines of an intestinal rupture. About half way to the hospital, my friend suddenly let rip the loudest, most powerful fart any of us had ever heard.